"A basic human right is being denied to people who love each other and are committed to each other."

As I began to interview my cousin, Jenn, about her stance on gay marriage and gay rights in general, I knew what her feelings would be: Afterall, Jenn is a lesbian planning to marry her (female) fiance in 2014. What I wasn't expecting was the mix of passion and level-headed arguments she would bring up during our interview, bringing about the perfect balance of an outraged individual who feels like she is being discriminated against, and informed citizen, basing her arguments on the rights afforded to citizens of our country through our Constitution.
What really hit home for me was when Jenn mentioned that a homosexual individual who is denied the right to marry may experience an entire spectrum of emotional side effects, inlcluding depression, suicidal tendencies, etc. These emotional downward spirals affect not only the person, but their family as well. As Jenn's cousin, I cannot even fathom how difficult it would be to watch her suffer in that way.


While the emotional side of me was touched by some of Jenn's arguments, the practical side was drawn in by others: The bottom line is the rights of the LGBT community are a human rights issue. Period. Like Jenn mentioned, this whole "denying gay marriage" thing is reminiscent of the ban on interacial marriages prior to the civil rights movement. Who do we think we are to decide what other people can do? If it is not hurting anyone or putting the country in jeopardy, why is this even open for discussion or part of an election platform?
People are never going to agree 100% on ANYTHING. But not agreeing does not mean making decisions for others based on your own personal views and feelings.

 Me: Is this a problem you think is important? Why/ Why not?
Jenn: Absolutely it is an important "issue." It's not a problem. Society is trying to make it a problem. It's important because a basic human right is being denied to people who love each other and are committed to each other. Church and state are NOT staying completely separate in this matter and that is unconstitutional - there is your problem.

Me: Do you think others in our community this is an important problem? why/ why not?

Jenn (right) and her fiance,
Ariane, at Gay Pride, Boston,
2012

Jenn:Not being able to marry as a gay couple is a problem that affects not only the couple, but their families also. Denial of the right to marry to gay couples can wreak havoc on a person. It may cause depression, alcoholism, addiction, suicide, bullying etc. Parents that are supportive of their gay children may also worry constantly about the safety of their children. As an adult, engaged to be married lesbian, I am excited and thankful, to live in a state, where I am able to walk down the aisle and marry my wife whenever I to do so. Unfortunately, the majority of the country does not have this privilege. There is also no federal protection for couples that get married in states where gay marriage is not outlawed.

Me: What policy, if any, does government now have to deal with this problem?

Jenn: The federal government has granted each state to structure and provide their own stance on gay marriage. DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) was also passed by congress to define mariage as the union of one man and one woman. Same-sex marriage is not recognized federally, even is the couple is married in a state where same sex marriage is lawful.

Me: What are advantages of policies regarding this topic?

Jenn: There are no advantages to these policies - for gay or straight couples. Stopping two people from marrying, regardless of sex, affects no one BUT the actual couple attempting to marry and it affects them in a negative way. If two men or two women get married, what does that actually do to affect the lives of other couples who happen to be straight?

Me: What are disadvantages of this policy?

Jenn: Loving couples in 46 states are unable to marry and have to live in a community that shames them. Healthcare providers, in our own country, may turn the spouse of a gay man or woman away, EVEN IF THE COUPLE IS LEGALLY MARRIED IN THEIR OWN STATE. Gay couples are unable to file their federal taxes jointly even if married in one of the legalized states.

Me: How might the policy be improved?

Jenn: The simple rights of Americans need to be looked over. The constitution should not be ammended to appease people against same sex marriage. Years ago, interracial marriages were legalized on the basis that it was "a basic civil right." This should also be applied to same sex marriage.

Me: What disagreements, if any, about the policy exist in this community?

Jenn: In my community, liberalism is prevalent. Same sex marriage is welcomed and wanted among the people in my community. It is welcomed and it feels wonderful. The state of Massachusetts has set a fine example for the rest of the country in legalizing same sex marriage. I can honestly say that I feel safe in my state. It's sad that I do not feel safe or accepted traveling anywhere in my own country, land of the free, for fear of hate crimes and gay bashing. Gay people need to have their rights acknowledged and protected as well as every heterosexual person.

Me: Where can I get more information about this problem and the different positions people take on this problem?

Jenn: www.HRC.org is an excellent organization that has been formed to support and fight for the rights of gay people. www.bostonpride.org is also a good site. www.itgetsbetter.org. www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org www.pflagg.org

 <3 Cousin Love <3 Jenn & me